Puzzled with many frustrations and how to overcome these lately. It’s the first month of 2020 and I’m supposed to plan and start doing the things I have to achieve or keep doing this year. I’m not busy at work this week as I have few hours of classes every day. I could have supposedly extend my vacation in the Philippines but my boss’ work system didn’t allow me. Though, I really love my job of course and it’s been a blessing. And I submit to the authority of course. But you know, it’s just so frustrating how you work hard but…. Hmmm. Well, there are things beyond our control and God sometimes tests our endurance in some circumstances in life and how we respond to them. So I still praise God for everything! Let me just write some random thoughts that impact me the past few days.
Homesickness. This agony of still feeling not being at home and trying to survive alone is probably getting better as I am trying to synchronize my mind and body to the usual daily routine and the reality of adulthood life. However, just two days after I came back to Japan, our grandmother “Nanay Mary” got admitted to the hospital. It’s her first time ever to be hospitalized in her whole life. She’s 83 years old and still very “genki/ 元気” or active and healthy. She doesn’t take any medicine as a maintenance for her health. We do look up and admire her not just because she’s our grandma but she is a great woman of God. (I could write one long article about how she lives a godly example not just to our family but as how she touches many lives as well.) She is a woman of influence who lives out everything she says and believes. I’m just always amazed how this family can be much more united in times like this. We’re hoping and praying that she will get better so soon. We still need her presence and guidance. And we’re praying to God for her immediately healing!
Gloomy days. Winter is the season of gloomy weather and a cold temperature. Thus, gloomy days trigger my melancholy personality in a positive side most of the time, but sometimes my frustrations. Living in a peaceful environment really awakens this part of me. And there are a lot of positive effects with this than the negative ones. I can meditate and reflect about God and His ways more. I can have more solitude moments with God and appreciate the atmosphere around me. I can have more “me time” as I always need this being an introvert person. And one of my outlets when I am being melancholy is through writing. Whether I post them in a blog or just in my journal, I love to read them again when I’ve got time and they remind me of God’s faithfulness of helping me triumph over every trial and difficulty that I face. So, I am hoping to survive this winter over this melancholy atmosphere and the freezing cold! Ganbarimasu! /がんばります! (I’ll do my best!)
Being prayerful. One of the greatest things that has propelled my prayer life is renewing my mind. I meditate of what is true about God regardless of the circumstances and my emotions. It prepares me to cast my cares and burdens to Him in faith. I was rebuked also when I listened to the message at CCF Cebu last Sunday about the story of Mary and Martha in the Bible. Sometimes, because my spiritual gift is service, the enemy uses this to make me busy with lots of priorities I have to do. It’s also my natural self that can’t stop from doing something (I love doing many things that’s why). I know deep inside that I have to set aside much more time sitting at the feet of Jesus and just spend time with Him. But due to heavy loads at work, church ministry and personal stuff, I sometimes rush from what is more important. I am thankful for this prayer and fasting week of CCF that reminds me to focus in the LORD more rather than being busy with His ministry. This helps me strengthen my prayer life and get back on track. Yesterday, I got the message of leading the Prayer Ministry at church from this year. Therefore, this motivates me to be more prayerful so that I can lead others in gaining much more love in praying!
I have many thoughts that I wanna write about what I go through and even what the world is going through these days. (It’s been scary & chaotic!) Yet, I wanna end this for now from my devotion early this year. When prayer is missing from my life and your life and when we are controlled by our temporal cares and hopes, we might end up wasting time trying to make our life work then beating our emotions against the weight of frustration. But as it says in Psalm 1, when we meditate upon the LORD day and night, we become like a tree that brings much fruit and everything that we do prospers. So, you and I can triumph our frustrations into something fruitful this year as we come much closer to Jesus and sit at His feet.
Ganbatte kudasai! (You and I can do it!)